Transitioning...

We've been back in Richmond just over 2 weeks now and it has been a tough transition. The cold weather was an expected shock to the system, yet not easy. The inability to walk outside and breathe in the fresh, warm air was harder than expected. The change of scenery from swaying palms to leafless branches was depressing. The feeling of being alone in my big house as Cabell went back to work and the kids back to school was so very lonely. Magnified by the lack of Owen's presence. Typically, he's with me in the house when no one else is. I miss him and the comfort he provided (and that I took for granted). It's amazing to me how silence can be so loud.

I cried a couple of days that first week home. "What have we done?", I thought. "We left paradise to come home and feel like this?" My sweet friends and loving family greeted us, cared for us and listened, as I needed to pour out my feelings about this transition and process it all. To be reminded that I am in a grieving period. Oh, how helpful it is when we can just be heard...allowed to talk and share...without shame or judgement. I am so thankful for people in my life who manifest this quality.

The Oxford Dictionary defines transition as "the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another." Life is full of them--some planned, some unplanned--and learning to navigate through them is one of God's greatest invitations to us in this life. It's a process, meaning it takes time. When we can gives ourselves grace and lean into the changes around us, we can grow in our awareness of our emotions and how we react to them. I'm learning to embrace this transition slowly, knowing that our lives have been changed by our experience in Hawaii. I believe that the Enemy wants to steal my joy...and I refuse to let myself wallow in sadness and memories when there is so much opportunity for joy right here in front of me. So I will move on to the next phase of this transition...

There is so much that I want to "bring back" from Hawaii with me... I don't want to jump back into life here in the same way that it was prior to July 2, 2019. I refuse to always be rushed and hurried or have a full calendar. I refuse to be worried about my house being cleaned and straightened perfectly to have friends or visitors over. I refuse to be overly concerned with my outfit, my appearance or the latest trend. I want to continue what we found so precious about the community and culture in Hawaii--being together, building relationships, enjoying nature, and having intentional time with my family. What a gift to be able to give our children--intentional time and a new perspective. God is so faithful and I trust that He will continue to use our experience in Hawaii to grow and stretch us. 

As we get back into the swing of life here--school days, sports, homework, dinner, weekend plans, oh and shoulder surgery recovery for Cabell--we often talk about Hawaii and smile, looking forward to when we can get back there. The kids Facetime and text their friends and it's so nice that technology makes it easy to stay in touch.

Before we left, I bought a children's book called What Do You Do with a Chance? by Kobi Yamada. What an insightful book! We read it last summer and it struck me as a beautiful example of the chance and opportunity that was upon us to live in Hawaii. The book illustrates "chances" as golden emblems that fly... sometimes they just show up and flutter around us... but what do we do with them? That's the big question-- whether we embrace them with courage or back away from them out of fear. The back cover of the book says, "What do chances become? New friendships, exciting opportunities, and daring discoveries. Chances are invitations to grand adventures, tickets to unforgettable experiences, and doors to whole new worlds. Chances help you see who you are, what you want, and where you want to go. So, what will you do with your chance? Now that's up to you."

Friends, we all have chances that come and go in our lives. What do you have a chance to do? That you've been afraid of. What do you have a chance to experience? That you've wondered if it is a right fit for you. What do you have a chance to change? That you worry may be hard or too much effort. My prayer is that your curiosity and your excitement would far outweigh your fears. The start of something incredible may be just around the corner. Don’t miss it. You don’t know when it may come around again.

xoxo Molly

1 week left.

I will miss...
Waking up and seeing the sun rising through my bedroom window.
Opening the large sliding doors that bring fresh air from outside into the kitchen.
Driving the kids to school barefoot.
Walking on the beach.

I will miss...
Watching the surfers.
Seeing the portugeuse man-o-war on the shoreline.
Watching the palm trees sway in the wind.
Hearing the Hawaiian birds chirping.

I will miss...
The sandy pathway to the beach, lined with bright green plants.
The "ah" feeling as I reach the point on the path where I can see the water and the waves.
The Mokolua Islands in the distance.
Listening to podcasts and music as I walk the beach and watch the waves crash.

I will miss...
The slow pace of life and lack of commitments.
The laid back afternoons.
The expected hugs from friends and those we meet.
The aloha spirit.

I will miss...
My neighbors, the lane and this special street, with all its flaws and quirks.
Seeing my kids laughing and connecting with new friends that are so dear.
Date nights to have a drink on "our" bench on the beach, followed by dinner at Buzz's.
Hikes that lead to incredible views of the water and the island.

I will miss...
The Ko'olau mountains, in all their splendor, chiseled with beauty.
My drive to Costco along the south-east shore.
School being an 8-ish minute drive away.
Listening to Lilly's class on Friday mornings recite their memory verses.

I will miss...
Our small, yet loving community who has welcomed us with open arms.
The athletic events cheering on our Lions.
The authenticity of those around us.
The lack of desire to have more, do more, be more. Connecting, not competing, is the lifestyle.

I will miss...
Trips to the North Shore to watch surfing competitions.
Dinners outside by the pool while Alexa plays music.
Watching the kids swim, especially at night, or put on their "luau".
The ample time together as a family.

I will miss...
The abundance of rainbows.
The lush greenery, unique shapes and many types of tropical plants.
The beautiful leis.
Being greeted as "aunty" and "uncle".

Yet what I've gained is...
Perspective-- on what matters-- relationships with others, with God, with myself.
Permission-- to just BE, to enjoy unrushed moments in the day, and to be present with myself and those around me.
Awareness-- of the beauty that surrounds me-- the natural scenery, the smile on my childrens' faces, the relaxed time with Cabell, the conversations around the dinner table, the quiet moments that I create for myself and God.

Beautiful memories that will never, ever be left behind.

Christmas is Coming

It is a unique experience to be in Hawaii at Christmastime. I’ve been able to recognize how much of the traditions, surroundings and atmosphere effect the “Christmas spirit”. I was distraught about it for a few days...not feeling like it was Christmas and wondering what to do about it! And you know what zaps it instantly? Seeing a roach crawl up the wall!  It’s not cold, I’m wearing shorts, there are no fires being built in the fireplace, it’s too hot for hot chocolate, we don’t have our usual decorations adorning the house and we certainly don’t have a calendar full of festive parties to attend. So I was challenged—what is Christmas really all about? Yes, those things may uplift our spirits and bring cozy, warm feelings, but the atmosphere of Christmas is so much more than all of that. What my heart and soul long for is that the gift of Christ’s birth shape this season. This year may feel different, but God’s divine, miraculous and loving gift for us does not change, not matter the circumstance.

There is something quite freeing about recognizing our expectations, acknowledging what we feel, and then changing our perspective. Since I have this new awareness, I’m able to experience the Christmas spirit in new and unique ways. I’m reading Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul David Tripp. I listen to Emily P. Freeman’s Quiet Collection for Christmas. I made a commitment to walk the beach each morning while listening to Christmas music. (Hillsong Worship, Christmas: The Peace Project on Spotify) My mind can focus, my heart can rejoice and my soul can be filled with gratitude—not only for the incredible beauty that surrounds me, but for the incredible gift I’ve been given in Jesus. God Himself. Hope. Peace. The promise of Emmanuel-God with us.

I see the waves break, the water rushing up the shore, then easing back. I see the water seep deep into the sand as it settles. Watch it here.  Oh Lord, may your Spirit seep deep into my soul this season. May the songs we sing, the conversations we have, the fellowship with family and friends reflect Your glory and Your truth. May our hearts be filled with joy and gratitude for the amazing love you’ve demonstrated to us.

We took Lilly to her first concert and saw Lauren Daigle in Honolulu. As she sang her song, Everything, my eyes welled up with tears. “You give me everything. You give me everything. You give me everything I need.” I am overwhelmed with the love, the mercy and the provision of our Father to give us just what we need...everything we need. And it sometimes is very different than what we were expecting.

So as December is upon me, I will take notice and celebrate the unique opportunity that my family has. Palm trees with lights. Days on the beach. Cooler evenings. A little 4 foot artificial tree. Mailing Christmas packages afar. Songs of Christmas joy and celebration. Time with new friends. Making memories to last a lifetime.

Take heart, friends. However your circumstances are different this year—good or bad—God is near. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Your battle is not lost in His sight. You are not alone. You are loved. And worth so much in His sight. 

Merry Christmas. Mele Kalikimaka.

Molly