Transitioning...

We've been back in Richmond just over 2 weeks now and it has been a tough transition. The cold weather was an expected shock to the system, yet not easy. The inability to walk outside and breathe in the fresh, warm air was harder than expected. The change of scenery from swaying palms to leafless branches was depressing. The feeling of being alone in my big house as Cabell went back to work and the kids back to school was so very lonely. Magnified by the lack of Owen's presence. Typically, he's with me in the house when no one else is. I miss him and the comfort he provided (and that I took for granted). It's amazing to me how silence can be so loud.

I cried a couple of days that first week home. "What have we done?", I thought. "We left paradise to come home and feel like this?" My sweet friends and loving family greeted us, cared for us and listened, as I needed to pour out my feelings about this transition and process it all. To be reminded that I am in a grieving period. Oh, how helpful it is when we can just be heard...allowed to talk and share...without shame or judgement. I am so thankful for people in my life who manifest this quality.

The Oxford Dictionary defines transition as "the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another." Life is full of them--some planned, some unplanned--and learning to navigate through them is one of God's greatest invitations to us in this life. It's a process, meaning it takes time. When we can gives ourselves grace and lean into the changes around us, we can grow in our awareness of our emotions and how we react to them. I'm learning to embrace this transition slowly, knowing that our lives have been changed by our experience in Hawaii. I believe that the Enemy wants to steal my joy...and I refuse to let myself wallow in sadness and memories when there is so much opportunity for joy right here in front of me. So I will move on to the next phase of this transition...

There is so much that I want to "bring back" from Hawaii with me... I don't want to jump back into life here in the same way that it was prior to July 2, 2019. I refuse to always be rushed and hurried or have a full calendar. I refuse to be worried about my house being cleaned and straightened perfectly to have friends or visitors over. I refuse to be overly concerned with my outfit, my appearance or the latest trend. I want to continue what we found so precious about the community and culture in Hawaii--being together, building relationships, enjoying nature, and having intentional time with my family. What a gift to be able to give our children--intentional time and a new perspective. God is so faithful and I trust that He will continue to use our experience in Hawaii to grow and stretch us. 

As we get back into the swing of life here--school days, sports, homework, dinner, weekend plans, oh and shoulder surgery recovery for Cabell--we often talk about Hawaii and smile, looking forward to when we can get back there. The kids Facetime and text their friends and it's so nice that technology makes it easy to stay in touch.

Before we left, I bought a children's book called What Do You Do with a Chance? by Kobi Yamada. What an insightful book! We read it last summer and it struck me as a beautiful example of the chance and opportunity that was upon us to live in Hawaii. The book illustrates "chances" as golden emblems that fly... sometimes they just show up and flutter around us... but what do we do with them? That's the big question-- whether we embrace them with courage or back away from them out of fear. The back cover of the book says, "What do chances become? New friendships, exciting opportunities, and daring discoveries. Chances are invitations to grand adventures, tickets to unforgettable experiences, and doors to whole new worlds. Chances help you see who you are, what you want, and where you want to go. So, what will you do with your chance? Now that's up to you."

Friends, we all have chances that come and go in our lives. What do you have a chance to do? That you've been afraid of. What do you have a chance to experience? That you've wondered if it is a right fit for you. What do you have a chance to change? That you worry may be hard or too much effort. My prayer is that your curiosity and your excitement would far outweigh your fears. The start of something incredible may be just around the corner. Don’t miss it. You don’t know when it may come around again.

xoxo Molly