Surreal

Yesterday, he greeted me in the morning as usual. When I get up, he gets up. It was another lazy, summer day for Owen. He rested in his bed. Luke recalls singing a song to him to "put him to sleep". But as I was packing, he sensed that something was going on. He followed me around the house, even going up and down the stairs, which he doesn't do often, given that he is over 13 years old. As my mom and I were taping boxes, packing them, and moving things to the attic, Owen followed every step I took. I almost tripped over him a few times and geez, was I frustrated! So much to do, so little time...we were leaving for Hawaii in 7 days!

I took a break and he rested in his bed. I asked Alexa to "turn on music to calm dogs" because he seemed anxious. She turned on a sweet playlist that included songs like As the Deer and You Are My All in All. Little did I know that the words would stick with me as we faced today.

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

 

  and

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

 

 As the day went on, something was off with our O-dog. And by the end of the night, his tail was down--his cute, labradoodle, curly Q tail and he was panting. I will spare the details that follow, but Owen got very sick, very fast. It was an excruciating few hours at the emergency room this morning. Our family gathered with our sweet boy, loved on him, cried our eyes and hearts out, and watched him drift peacefully into the arms of Jesus. He looked into our eyes and I am 100% confident that he knew we were there with him. I know Jesus grabbed onto him and loved on him in our place. And I am thankful for that hope.

My first baby is gone. My puppy that has greeted each and every one of our 3 children as they came home from the hospital. Who tolerated being jumped on, tugged on, and stepped on. Who lived life as if he owned it. Nothing was off limits for Owen. He was loved by everyone who met him. He didn't know a stranger. Always my "puppy", no matter the fact that he was 13. Man, did he live a good life! We can rest in that. We can trust that God's timing is perfect, even when we don't understand it. Owen was all set to go on the adventure of a lifetime with us to Hawaii. But God knows. And He knows best. And I cling to His promise that he will never leave us or forsake us.

Psalm 103 (MSG) gave me comfort today as I read that:
"He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
  He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
  He renews your youth—you’re always young in his presence."

God bless you, Owen. You gave us unconditional love that is a lifelong lesson. May you be wearing your paradise crown in Heaven as we embark on our own paradise adventure without you. We will miss you always.

Mommy

 

From Dream to Reality

We all have dreams. No, not just the kind that you have when you are sleeping and don't remember when you wake up. Real dreams. The big and scary. The "what if" dreams of life. And the kind that you always hope will become a reality. 

For my 12 year old son, his dream is to be an NBA player. My 10 year old daughter dreams of owning her own horse (and dog) farm. And my 6 year old, well, he wants to be a ninja warrior and a pilot. Time will tell if these become a reality. And in the in-between, I will continue to encourage them to pursue these dreams, work for them, and ultimately, hand them over to God, the One who has 'plans to prosper them and not to harm them'. (Jeremiah 29:11)

All I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mom...thanks to the beautiful example of my mama. Along the way, I also found my passion for nurturing and caring for others and became a nurse. And in more recent years, my nursing background has intersected with my passion for health and wellness through nutrition and prevention. My Juice Plus+ business has brought a whole new realm to me living into who God made me to be! Through it all, being a wife and mom has become my day to day reality and takes priority over all things. What a responsibility God has given me! And if your family is anything like mine, your husband counts as one of your children! So really, I have 4 kids and a dog. I am abundantly blessed and thank God for the role He has given me in this busy season of life! But Lord, help us all.... There are days that I wish I could go back and change the way I reacted, spoke or dealt with my family. I know I am not alone.

Enter the dream. My husband is a successful real estate agent, has worked incredibly hard for 18 years to provide for our family and allow us to have experiences and memories that will never be taken for granted. But with the hard work comes off-hours, nearly incessant cell phone use, the burden of being at his clients' beckon call and a desire to make everyone happy. Don't get me wrong--he has done a phenomenal job at being present for his children and me...but the stress of juggling it all takes a toll over the years. He desires healthier work habits. He desires to be more fully present when he is with his family. He desires to be the man that God created him to be. 

We've dreamed about how to slow down, how to savor the moments more, how to not allow the stress take over in the day-to-day. We've dreamed about taking a family adventure while our kids are still young. But dreaming about it and talking about don't get you very far. So we are taking a step of faith and putting that dream into action. We are pulling out of town for a while. For 6 months. To Hawaii. With a 6 hour time difference. And we leave in 1 week. His incredible team will hold down the real estate fort. We will have an adventure with our children that will be a lifelong memory. They will go to school on the island. And be in a different culture. The hope is that we enter back into the Richmond scene refreshed, renewed and with a new pace of life. A paradise pace.

Though our situation and dream is a bit extreme, most of us all have something tugging in our souls. Something that we desire (or dream about) that we feel may help us live more full and free in this chaotic world. So what is tugging at you? Are you really spending your days the way that you want to be? This is YOUR life and you actually have a choice in how you live it. God has blessed you with this 1 (extended) season on earth. You don't need tons of money. You don't need an exotic destination. You don't need more things to prick your heart's desire. You simply need to be still... and consider what you are passionate about. If time or money wasn't an issue, what would your life look like? Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." God knows the desires of your heart...do you?

If you'd like to follow along on our Hawaiian sabaatical...while we are hangin' in Hawaii, kickin' it in Kailua, and learning a new pace of paradise, please subscribe!

Molly