The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

 I had a lot of expectations for the last week before school started. I envisioned us exploring and carrying on our adventurous spirit while we had the extra time. Well, we did do some of that, which I’ll highlight later, but to be honest, I felt as though I was spending most of my time playing referee. As I know most of you moms and dads can relate, sibling rivalry is real. It’s exhausting. It’s disappointing. It’s beyond frustrating. And it doesn’t discriminate between your home, a restaurant, a beach or in paradise. But I also know that it is a crucial teaching moment for all involved. Between complaining, whining, bickering, arguing, hitting, name-calling and just plain mean-ness, we were at our wits end. It is so easy to respond out of emotion (frustration and anger) and while that is the immediate response, it doesn’t create change. Parenting is hard. Disciplining is hard. Yet trusting in God’s faithfulness is hopeful. His faithfulness is constant through His grace and His love. For us to impart any wisdom on our children or help cultivate kindness, demonstrating impatience, anger and frustration is not the way to get there. So Lord, please continue to help us. The daily struggle is real.

Within the large pile of books that I packed on this trip is one called My Brother’s Keeper: Youth by Kim Sorgious. I bought it a while back during another phase of this somewhat war-in-our-home. The short studies provide a Biblical story and practical questions for the children. I pulled it out and we restarted where we left off. When our children can communicate clearly, speaking out loud about the wrongs they’ve caused others and recognizing ways to attempt change, beautiful things happen. Did it fix it all? No. Did the bickering stop? No. Was there no more name calling? In my dreams! But awareness was built. Compassion was cultivated. Our family being a team was reinforced. And we will move forward, one hour at a time.

So take heart—whether your kids are still hanging around in summer mode or you’re back in school and the car rides home are not what you were hoping for—these are the moments that can make or break the culture of your household. Step away when you’re angry. Have intentional conversations. Speak truth into your children’s hearts and minds. God is faithful to honor us in this radically hard, yet joyous privilege of parenting.

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As for the “last week of summer adventures”, we made some memories.

We had an encounter/situation/altercation/confrontation with 2 of our neighbors (2 women who ganged up on us—it felt like). They were irate and complaining that we were being too loud at 2:30 in the afternoon while playing in the pool. We are still processing this ordeal and how to respond appropriately, respectfully and God-honoring while also sticking up for ourselves in a loving way. I plan to write more about this ordeal in a separate post, so stay tuned! It’s quite a story....

We tried out Anchor Church in a town nearby called Kaneohe. The kids really loved it. That may or may have had to do with the hot chocolate that they offered. In one direction was a cross at the base of a beautiful mountain and in the other direction was a view of Kaneohe Bay. The church was similar to Hope Church in Richmond, but smaller, and we liked the experience, teaching and aloha welcome!

We drove up to the North Shore one day and hung out at the beach at Turtle Bay Resort. The cool thing about Hawaii is that all beaches are public, so you can visit anywhere you like. The kids snorkeled while Cabell and I sat at the bar and drank local craft beers. :) The kids managed to come join us, per usual, and the bartender served them delicious ice cream sandwiches!

We then went into the cool town of Halaweia and had lunch at a Mexican spot. Cute shops and  restaurants coupled with the laid back island feel is always a hit.

On the drive home, we stopped by the Dole Plantation. It was too late in the day to have a tour or go through their “World’s Largest Maze”, but it was fun stop. 

We went kayaking one morning in Kaneohe Bay at the He’eia State Park. One of the islands in the Bay is Coconut Island, aka Gilligan’s Island. It is a protected area, so you cannot go onto the island, but we were able to see the famed island where they filmed the classic show! I put on an episode for the kids when we got home and they were not enchanted the way that I used to be.... 

There were many snorkeling spots and we anchored and went to check them out. It was unreal how the sand would drop off like a mountainous cliff into the deep ocean. All along the edge was beautiful coral, fish, and we came upon 2 sea turtles as well. It was incredible to see them in their natural environment without a mass of people watching them (as with our other experiences). They are massive, beautiful animals that glide through the water. I’ve learned a lot from the water...and will share my thoughts on that in a different post.

Our other days were spend relaxing, watching too much TV, playing on the beach, swinging in the hammock, reading and swimming in the pool. I’ve made the jump into being a fan of the pool—sometimes you will find me in there without any kids! Cabell and I had a date night at Whole Foods where they have the Windward Bar...Thursday nights are Burgers and Beer for $13. Of course they offered a Beyond Burger, so we indulged. Whole Foods is the place to be! And with my Amazon Prime membership, it’s also the place to shop! Particularly for produce. I’ve been cooking more and trying to establish a good menu of vegan dinners for us. (Though Cabell and I are vegan + fish, our kids are not except for dinners if I’m cooking.) I’m thankful for the time and space to cook. Oh, and we succumbed to the heat and have turned on the A/C at times. :) Cooking in hot humidity is NOT fun. 

We went back to school shopping at Target, met teachers, and went to a school wide picnic. We were ready for school! And they had a great first couple of days. 

And if you need a laugh, just watch this video of the kids trying to get a bird out of our house. And they succeeded! Freedom is sweet! 

Thanks for following along...more later!

Xoxo Molly