Surreal

Yesterday, he greeted me in the morning as usual. When I get up, he gets up. It was another lazy, summer day for Owen. He rested in his bed. Luke recalls singing a song to him to "put him to sleep". But as I was packing, he sensed that something was going on. He followed me around the house, even going up and down the stairs, which he doesn't do often, given that he is over 13 years old. As my mom and I were taping boxes, packing them, and moving things to the attic, Owen followed every step I took. I almost tripped over him a few times and geez, was I frustrated! So much to do, so little time...we were leaving for Hawaii in 7 days!

I took a break and he rested in his bed. I asked Alexa to "turn on music to calm dogs" because he seemed anxious. She turned on a sweet playlist that included songs like As the Deer and You Are My All in All. Little did I know that the words would stick with me as we faced today.

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

 

  and

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

 

 As the day went on, something was off with our O-dog. And by the end of the night, his tail was down--his cute, labradoodle, curly Q tail and he was panting. I will spare the details that follow, but Owen got very sick, very fast. It was an excruciating few hours at the emergency room this morning. Our family gathered with our sweet boy, loved on him, cried our eyes and hearts out, and watched him drift peacefully into the arms of Jesus. He looked into our eyes and I am 100% confident that he knew we were there with him. I know Jesus grabbed onto him and loved on him in our place. And I am thankful for that hope.

My first baby is gone. My puppy that has greeted each and every one of our 3 children as they came home from the hospital. Who tolerated being jumped on, tugged on, and stepped on. Who lived life as if he owned it. Nothing was off limits for Owen. He was loved by everyone who met him. He didn't know a stranger. Always my "puppy", no matter the fact that he was 13. Man, did he live a good life! We can rest in that. We can trust that God's timing is perfect, even when we don't understand it. Owen was all set to go on the adventure of a lifetime with us to Hawaii. But God knows. And He knows best. And I cling to His promise that he will never leave us or forsake us.

Psalm 103 (MSG) gave me comfort today as I read that:
"He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
  He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
  He renews your youth—you’re always young in his presence."

God bless you, Owen. You gave us unconditional love that is a lifelong lesson. May you be wearing your paradise crown in Heaven as we embark on our own paradise adventure without you. We will miss you always.

Mommy